When it hurts, it pours

Injury peak week

After a poor attempt to come back to running last week, I decided to give my stubborn injury ("Osteitis Pubis") a few more days of full rest. Expanding my running break to an impressive 5 weeks. The longest I have ever not run, since I started 10 years ago. But instead of heading down the path of healing and recovery, my body took a different turn. Directly to hell.

Last Sunday, out of the blue, I experienced a severe lower back pain while doing some light mobility exercises. It only took a few seconds before I wasn’t able to move anymore. The pain was unbearable. A juicy 7 out of 10 on my personal pain scale, on which a 10 means burning alive (I apologize for being so graphic). It was excruciating. Even the slightest movement made me writhe in pain.

A change in perspective

While, only a couple of hours before my back collapsed, I was pondering over which shoe would be the best choice for my glorious running comeback, I was now facing questions like:

“Will I make it to the toilet without vomiting from pain?”

I have to admit that I was feeling a little overwhelmed with my new situation. And that’s quite an understatement.

(My cats Toto & Harry love everything about my physical decay)

What had happened?

Obviously, my back wasn’t too happy about my extensive break from exercise and decided to throw the towel. Fortunately, I am most likely not suffering from a herniated disc or sciatic pain, but a rather boring lumbago (Germans call it “Hexenschuss”, which is kind of funny).

That’s basically cramping back muscles pushing against the spine, causing it to hurt. Extremely painful, but not dangerous. Therapy is lengthy, but conservative: Painkillers, heat and, as soon as possible, slight and cautious movement to relax the muscles and bring them back in their place.

Well, that’s what I’ve been doing for almost a week now, and I am finally starting to feel better. I can even go for a short walk again. Honestly, this really means a lot to me.

A lesson in humility

5 weeks ago, after only a few days of being injured, I had already realized, that being healthy is worth more than any running goal could ever be. But my brand-new situation has taught me to be even more humble. More patient. More modest. More thankful. Yes, thankful. Let me highlight this:

More humble. More patient. More modest. More thankful.

I have asked a lot from my body during the past 10 years of running. Even more during the 20 years before that, where I tormented it with junk food, bad sleep, sitting in tour buses for thousands of hours and not exercising at all. It is more than understandable that my body needs some rest every once in a while. As stated times before, it is not a machine. And I’m glad it isn’t.

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Everything not running

Sitting in front of a computer is a huge challenge for me right now, that’s why I cut this short. Please excuse the New Z Letter being such a “medical report” today. I am not the type of person who whines or looks for sympathy. But as a matter of fact, I haven’t experienced anything else lately, that I could share with you. So bear with me.

I’m going to leave you with a quote my wife Lisa shared with me last night:

“Die Nacht ist keine Zeit. Die Nacht ist ein Ort.” (Benedict Wells)
(EN: “The night is not a time. The night is a place.”)

I take hope and confidence from this. I might be in a dark place, but I am moving, and I’m on my way back into the light.