The 10 Commandments of crewing an ultrarunner

And an album called "Troublegum"

I recently happened to write a story about crewing ultrarunners for Laufzeit Mag 3/2023, which came out this week (sorry, German language only).

Drawing from my personal experiences as a crew member, but also as a runner being crewed, I discussed some important aspects to consider, when tackling your next ultramarathon adventure, together with a support-crew.

(“Support-Crews beim Ultramarathon” Story for Laufzeit 03/2023, Photo taken in Rodgau by Stephan Wieser)

Naturally, there is a lot more to say about crewing an ultrarunner, than I could put into this short magazine article. Especially regarding the complex psychological processes and interactions, I only scratched the surface. I might dig deeper into this topic one day, but until then, I’ll leave you with:

The 10 Commandments of crewing an ultrarunner

1. Thou shalt have no other runners before me

   Your job as a support crew is to support your runner. No other runner. Not running yourself. Not chatting along all day. Not admiring the elite runners. Not eating all the food. Not missing your runner at the aid station. Not leaving her behind when you’re pacing her. All this might sound like a no-brainer, but I have seen these things go terribly wrong over and over again. You have one job, and it’s a full-time one. Do it right or don’t take it.

2. Thou shalt make unto thee any graven image

   You have to be prepared for the race, as you’d run it yourself. You have to be completely aware of any detail about the race course, the gear, the nutrition plan, timing, race rules, weather and psyche of your runner. Sounds easy, doesn’t it. You better start preparing yourself sooner rather than late.

3. Thou shalt not kill your runner

   But you can surely distress her a bit. Let’s be clear, you will see a lot of agony and grief when your runner enters the aid station. Liste to her complaints, fix what can be fixed, but also get her moving again as quickly as possible. Even if she hates it. In most cases, your runner will survive whatever pain she’s going through. And if not, it’s definitely not your fault.

4. Remember the time, to keep it holy

   The longer the race, the blurrier your runner’s mind will get. It is your job to keep track of cut-off times, aid station breaks, lead over other athletes, sunset and sunrise time and overall moving speed of your runner. She simply will not be able to keep track of all this, let alone do any complex calculations. And remember, your runner puts a lot of trust in you. You better have those numbers on your fingertips.

5. Honor thy plan and thy agreements

   Unexpected things will happen. It is your job to make sure your runner (and yourself) stick to the plan, you mutually had agreed on before the race. We’re talking about fueling, timing, gear, clothing and injuries here. Having profound conversations and clear briefings with your runner before the race is essential for you to execute the plan properly. But also to adapt it, if necessary. The more detailed your plan and the clearer your agreements, the more effectively you can crew your runner.

6. Thou shalt not ask questions

   As a simple rule of thumb, the number of questions you should ask your runner during the race is 0. Yes, that’s right, zero. Remember, she’s confused. And it doesn’t get any better the longer the race goes. Instead of asking questions, tell her what to do or say. Simple and clear requests.

   Good: “Tell me where it hurts.”

   Bad: “How are you feeling?”

   Good: “Drink this.”

   Bad: “Do you want cola or water?”

   Good: “You need to get moving now.”

   Bad: “Do you feel ready to continue?”

7. Thou shalt bear false witness against thy ultrarunner

   Or in other words: Lie to your runner, then lie again, and then some more. Whatever helps to reach her goal is permitted. The end justifies the means. Be warned, though. If you’re close to someone, lying can be a hurtful experience. Especially if you put her into more pain and discomfort by this. I wrote an article about this predicament for the wonderful Like the Wind Magazine #31:

   Would I lie to you?

8. Thou shalt not covet thy runner’ race

   Remember, it’s her big day. Not yours. Yes, you’re also a runner and yes you’ve surely got plenty of running goals, too. But today, you play second fiddle. Yet still, her success is your success. It can be very fulfilling to be the enabler in the background, not the go-getter taking center stage. And the day will come, where you’re in need of a support-crew yourself.

9. Every woman for herself

   Make sure you also take care of yourself. Being out there on the race course all day, can be grueling. Fuel well, keep warm or cool (depending on whether it’s Western States 100 or the Eiger Ultra Trail), take a nap when the timing allows it, and most of all, enjoy the vibes. After all, it’s race day!

10. Bonus Quote: “A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent woman overlooks an insult.”

    Whatever your runner says during the race, don’t take it personally. She doesn’t mean it. Hopefully.

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Everything not running

When I still used to play in bands, a common interview question was to name my favorite albums of all time. While I found it very hard to limit myself to only a few records, the first five always bursted out of me like cola & mentos:

• Strife - “One Truth”

• Life of Agony - “River Runs Red”

• Bad Religion - “Suffer”

• Unbroken - “life. love. regret.”

• Therapy? - “Troublegum”

While I would still subscribe that these are five of the best albums ever released, the latter recently got numerous spins on my music player. “Troublegum” is without any doubt the greatest rock album of all time. I particularly like the exceptional melancholic undertone all songs have in common, no matter if they’re catchy pop tunes, quirky chaotic bangers, or stadium rock hymns.

Therapy?’s career in the 90s was quite a rollercoaster. Quasi-overnight, flanked by ‘Troublegum”, they emerged from a total underground act to one of the biggest bands in Europe. All the way back to being completely unknown to most music lovers, just a few years later. They’re still around and will release a new album in May. Although I like almost of all of their music, “Troublegum” forever has a special place in my heart.

What’s YOUR favorite albums of all time?

(Original album cover art of Therapy?’s “Troublebum”)