One goal in a million
Time off means (even more) time to reflect. With less than 3 weeks to go until Kandel Marathon my training cycle is slowly coming to an end. To be more precise: I am in the middle of two big volume peak weeks, although my training plan does not really follow a 7-day rhythm. Tapering is up next to settle and sharpen what I have built over the winter months.
I’m honest with you. The closer my marathon race gets, the more self-doubts pop up. I’ve been at war with racing marathons ever since I got close to the 3 hour mark. I can clearly feel that this is a mental issue and not a physical one. It was most likely the reason why I abandoned the marathon for the last 3 years and focused on other running projects, namely coping the 100 km and 100 miles. Although, for Kandel, it is not my A-goal yet to run Sub3, but instead to master marathon execution in the first place, this running bucket list top-item is still on my mind constantly. I once called it "the carrot dangling in front of my nose" and "both, a blessing and a curse".
I never found out why it is exactly this running goal, that triggers me so intensely. It’s just a number. Maybe even less than that. Athletically there is literally no difference between a 3:01 and a 2:59 marathoner. And looking at my Sub3 goal from a wider view, it is light years away from the results elite runners achieve and thus not much different to breaking 4 hours or 3:30 hours, for that matter. If you then add age, talent, years of experience, physique and sometimes a bit of luck to the mix, you clearly end up in an endless pool of runners all struggling for their personal goals of which none is more meaningful than the other, or meaningful at all. And still I can’t get it out of my head. Sorry, if I’m not the ultra relaxed, easy going "it falls into my laps" type runner you usually prefer to see on the internet.
I am aware that by writing these words I might even put some extra pressure on the matter. At the same time I don’t see why I should be beating around the bush. Neither before myself nor anyone reading this. It is what it is and it increasingly occupies me lately, so here we are.