On the Reasons for Unreasonableness
Running When You Actually Shouldn't
Two Weeks Out. And My Knee’s Throwing a Fit.
There are exactly two weeks to go until the Zugspitz Ultratrail (ZUT). It's exactly two weeks until the second-longest race of my life. And here I am, wondering what TF is going on with my knee.
The Good News: I Can Run.
The Bad News: It’s Complicated.
Technically, I can run. But my running options are getting more and more limited. My body is clearly signaling that flat terrain is "okay," uphill is "really good," and downhill is somewhere between "you shouldn’t be doing this" and “good luck.”
But: I can run. For the most part, completely pain-free.
The problem is not the running itself, but the rest period afterward. In addition to the usual aches and pains, I've had pressure pain under my kneecap for the past four weeks. Or is it six already? While my right knee recovers overnight, my left knee remains under constant stress. We’re talking a solid 1-3 on a pain scale of 1-10. I can provoke the pain when force meets movement. The simplest example is climbing stairs. It's not dramatic, I'm not limited in any way. However, it's definitely not how a knee should feel.
Diagnosis: Overuse. Treatment: Everything But Quitting.
The preliminary diagnosis is overexertion. Yes, but what exactly? It's probably the thigh muscle pulling on the knee, and the rear muscle chain isn't strong enough to counteract this. So far, so bad.
In any case, I'm doing everything I can to combat it: strength training, stretching, resting, doing alternative sports, and varying my runs between flat, uphill, and downhill (see above). I'm also using traction ointment and Wobenzym and applying cat paws. Talk me into voodoo? I’ll do it.
However, there's one thing I haven't considered since the problem first appeared: canceling the ZUT and giving my knee an extended break to heal. And that makes me think.
It’s About… Nothing.
Cognitively, I understand very well what the ZUT is all about: nothing.
Emotionally, however, it's about much more. I want this Western States Qualifier. I want to earn it in two weeks at the ZUT, not frantically at the last second in an exotic 100-kilometer qualifying race before the deadline. That's why my final decision is as follows:
I'll finish my preparation as best I can. Then, I'll go to the ZUT with what I've got. And I'll see it through. I don't want to win. I don't even hope to perform well. But I want my Western States Qualifier. Period.
I Once Promised Myself: Never at All Costs.
Two years ago, when I was seriously injured for the first time, I vowed never to force myself to run "at any cost." Not despite my love for running, but because of it. So far, I've stuck to that, but it's often a balancing act.
In my current situation, I pull the ripcord when I notice that I'm running with a protective posture. That's the gateway to hell. Trust me. It's the fast lane to injury.
Although we don't often think about it, our bodies and the entire movement sequence involved in running are extremely finely tuned. The slightest change can lead to immediate consequences and, ultimately, genuine misalignments that cause damage. In a protective posture, you're literally running yourself into the ground.
I don't want that under any circumstances. Below that line, and below a maximum pain level of 3/10, of course, I explore everything that's possible.
Is that reasonable? No.
Is it reckless? I don't think so either.
The truth lives somewhere in the messy middle.
We’re Not Alone In This
As I recently wrote, the nice thing about injury management is that you can be sure everyone has their struggles.
I don't wish anyone any harm, but it's great to know I'm not alone. Some of you may feel the same way when you read this.
As you can see, the situation is volatile and could be much better or much worse tomorrow. So, there's not much else to say at the moment except: Thanks for reading, and I'll keep you posted.
Everything Not Running
Yesterday, we attended a housewarming party. Two things stand out from the event.
First, there was an incredible amount of cake. And we ate a lot of it.
Second, Lisa and I are surrounded by extremely kind, smart, funny, and interesting people. We feel very lucky.
(Sorry, there are no photos of the cake buffet or our lovely friends.)
On Repeat
Ritual are back. They're different, but definitely worth listening to. So it's almost ignorant of me to refer to Ritual “back then” in On Repeat and pick their song “Somewhere in the Rain.” from 2009. That's why I urge you to follow Ritual's comeback after their 14-year hiatus.
But "Somewhere in the Rain"... my goodness! In the early 2000s, I played in a band called Paint the Town Red. We tried to sound like The Hope Conspiracy. Ritual had the same concept, only they were much more successful.
Back then, heaviness and power came from riffs, not grunting, heavily downtuned guitars, and excessive use of breakdowns. Ah, how wonderful.
Check them out; you'll like them. As I said, show some love to both the "old" and "new" Ritual.