Not Good. But Good Enough.
With Hope and Doubt to the Start of the Zugspitz Ultratrail
T-minus 7
In exactly one week, I'll be standing at the start of the Zugspitz Ultratrail (ZUT). In addition to the mandatory equipment, such as gels, sports drinks, a headlamp, rain gear, and a first aid kit, I'll also be carrying another heavy thing with me: doubt.
The Story So Far
A few weeks of trial and error regarding my knee issues, were followed by one week of "Screw it! Let's train hard!" – “How hard?” – “Yes.”
After that, I gave my knees, especially my right knee, a few days off this week. No running. Not a single step, except on Wednesday when I almost missed my connecting train to Garmisch. But that's another story.
Did the break help?
Yes, definitely. The body always appreciates a break, especially when you're eager to train (too) much, as most of us are.
Did the break solve the problem?
No, but secretly, I had hoped so. After eight weeks of irritation and pressure on my knee, it would have been presumptuous to believe that five or six days of rest would make everything go away.
A new/old player has entered the arena
To make matters worse, my trusted orthopedist brought my cartilage into play. He agrees with the overuse theory that my physiotherapist came up with, as well as the idea that shortened muscles pull on the knee.
However, he added that I already had second-degree cartilage damage before my meniscus surgery. No need to panic — almost all of us score level 2, especially if you’re 35+ years old. However, the overused cartilage surely isn't happy about the partial removal of my meniscus, aka the magic shock absorber. This is most likely why my left knee always recovers while my right knee remains in a state of permanent rebellion.
Whether the issue is irritated cartilage or a muscle imbalance, the treatment is the same.
Support your knees by strengthening your legs.
Work on posture and mobility to promote healthy movement.
Take it one step at a time, find out what you can and can't do in terms of sports, and hope that it gets better at some point.
In short, there's no breaking news for me. That's exactly what I've been doing for the past four weeks.
A brief deep dive into my Levelhead vs. Punk dilemma
Initially, I declined my orthopedist's offer to get an MRI to see what my knee really looks like. On the one hand, this is because my symptoms aren't that severe. On the other hand, an MRI always looks like the Battle of Verdun. You see things you don't want to know about, and when you read the report, you feel like giving up running altogether.
Of course, the Levelhead wants to know everything in detail, understand the cause, and know what can be done about it.
The Punk, on the other hand, says, "It's only a problem when it's a problem." Most knees function well despite various damages, and reputable orthopedists and surgeons would not take action unless the patient complains of significant pain.
Ultimately, they are all right: the Levelhead, the Punk, and the orthopedist. So, the MRI is only postponed, not canceled. If my knee doesn't improve, I'll definitely get it scanned.
Back to ZUT reality
If you asked me today if I'll start next week, I'd answer "yes" without hesitation. Despite my doubts about my physical condition, it's interesting to observe how tightly I'm sticking to this race.
Last week, I wrote:
"Cognitively, I understand very well what the ZUT is all about: nothing."
It seems that I'm holding on less to the ZUT and more to the running itself. Maybe I secretly know that I'm facing a longer break and don't want to admit it yet. I understand that a 100-kilometer run will only prolong this potential break. Yet, I don't seem ready to face the consequences.
To put things into perspective, let's take a look at my negligence barometer.
On the plus side, we have:
I can run, walk, hike, stand, sit, climb stairs, ride a bike, do yoga, and stretch without pain.
When the pain does occur, it never exceeds a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10.
I am actively contributing to improving my situation.
I am undergoing orthopedic and physical therapy treatment and monitoring.
My training level is good.
Despite my doubts, I am motivated and have a positive mindset. Well, most of the time.
On the negative side, we have:
I can clearly feel that my knee is not working properly.
My body is unmistakably signaling that it needs rest.
My preparation had notable gaps: the ZUT is not only 5,300 meters up, but also down.
The chance that my condition will worsen as a result of a 100-km race is significantly greater than the chance that my problems will disappear.
The sword of Damocles in the form of irreparable damage looms over every race of such high intensity.
Conclusion:
I give myself a solid four out of ten on the negligence barometer for my planned start at the ZUT, where one stands for "What's the problem?" and ten for "completely insane, negligent self-endangerment.”
We'll talk again in a week, right before the start of the ZUT. It remains excruciatingly exciting.
Everything Not Running
On Tuesday, I gave a guest lecture at TU Dortmund University. It was the first time I presented my book, Runhundred, to students rather than to my usual running audience at running stores.
Since I have already reported everything on this topic on Instagram, here is just a small link to click on and read. Also feel free to follow me or send me a message.
On Repeat
TRIGGER WARNING: The song below features lyrics addressing serious criminal behavior, violence, and traumatic subject matter. If these topics are triggering for you, please consider skipping this section and not listening to the song.
Unfortunately, things are getting really brutal now. Today, the French death/grind metal band Benighted made it onto On Repeat with their song "Fritzl." That's right: It’s about Josef Fritzl.
Though this topic seemed abstruse and disturbing at first, over the years, a dozen or so bands (mostly metal) have set it to music. Without having heard all the versions, I find it hard to imagine any of them being more extreme than Benighted's "Fritzl."
I first heard Benighted at Kohlekeller Studios while mixing an album with my band, The Blackout Argument. The studio owner and producer, Kristian “Kohle”, played us "Fritzl," and we were all blown away by the song's merciless brutality. Kohle assured us that the band members were totally lovable people and that they had a blast working on this perfidious song.
If you can get past the intro, turn up the volume. The production quality is an absolute treat for the ears and deserves to be heard at full volume.