Measurability vs. Unconditional Love
So…. here’s a rather personal blog post about an issue I’ve been struggling with since I started training more seriously towards more ambitious goals in 2017 or so. It’s simple math: What do I get for the work I put into training?
Well, for the most part running itself is the reward. I do feel this a lot. Simply being outside, able to run far, able to run fast (in relation to my abilities) and most of all, able to run at all, is a great gift that I truly appreciate.
However there’s days when I simply do the job in order to reach the future goals that I’ve set for myself. Unfortunately I never know for sure if a certain workout or training phase will pay off as I hope. There is no visible 'Run-O-Meter' that adds an additional 'Endurance Point' to my 'Training Bank Account'. Figuratively speaking. Sure, there is tools, but they can only interpret the tip of the iceberg of what training actually is supposed to do to your body and mind. So no VO2Max, no Suffer Score, no TSS or CTL can guarantee you reach your goals in the end.
Don’t get me wrong, I do know that training DOES have an effect. The rule of stress and adaptation applies to every runner without exception and so far there hasn’t been one single year in my running career in which I did not profit from that. Looking back on where I have started and where I am today is a very powerful source of inspiration and also motivation to keep on following this path. But it does not kill the entirety of my doubts about whether, or better 'for how long', this progression will continue.
What I’m learning as I write these words: Training is a little bit like truly loving someone. Only if your love is unconditional, without the expectation of any tangible and immediate return, it can truly unfold.
"Trust the Process" is what they say and they are right. I even once read "Enjoy the process" which is even righter. And that’s what I am trying to do until I stand on the start line in Squaw Valley and on the many start lines that will follow.