The way you talk about inner & outer loneliness is quiet relatable brother. And the title of this blog Alone by design depicts a lot of my story because since I have started running(June of 2020)- I have running every single step alone meaning not with anyone outside the competitions I enter. Last Year, I ran SOLO 5800 KM. At times solo miles routine feels heavy and the drudgery hits like a freight train. Running alone brings its own set of plus points and the way one feels but now it feels that I have reached a threshold and the urge to keep showing up dissipates and keeps oscillating back & forth.
But you're a bang on right that running as a sport is with only one real participant and that is YOU. When I wear the running shoes and start running, the loud voices in my head automatically shut down but it comes back roaring when the fatigue kicks in.
Thanks a lot brother. But I have been chronically under performing in the races I compete.
My recent race was a 100 KM Stadium Run(250 laps) on 24th January. Every bit of thing from the start was cognitively focused on running this race under 7:30 meaning I had to average 4:29 per KM. Everything was on par till 60 KM and the way my quads felt and after that the effort and attitude went into a downward spiral that here I am fucking it up again. I let the guard down a bit and I have understood I need to practice the art of letting GO of my expectations. All of this is easier than done but this needs to be done as it is impacting in every facet of my life. I finished the race in 9:15. In the moment it seemed it sucks but with time I have understood the pain of not performing and mental turmoil lessens if not dissipates totally whatever the race it might be.
I am again planning to run a 100 KM Stadium Run(250 laps) on 7th March but will try to let go off expectations from the start. I would surely have the plan but will try not let it dictate me when I would be going through lowest of lows. Because when our goals seem to slip away, the guard we hold with utmost courage and boldness becomes timid and our attitude towards the race becomes fragile and we let the guard down. The only goal would be to fight till the end like my life depends on it and try to give 101% in every moment. Keep the fight on like I started the race at the back half of the race, that's how you learn how to keep pushing when every muscle in your body is shouting stop right now. I need to learn this. I still plan to run it under 7:40 and I believe in myself that heck yeah I can do this.
The process is the kingpin and process is 90% of the story, WHY not enjoy it?
I love the line "Running alone has a way of turning down the volume on everything that isn’t real enough to survive effort."
I feel my thoughts stagnate when I am not moving, and waver around in circles. Running pushes my thoughts and hopes to a brighter future.
You have put into words brilliantly one of the main things I love about running - thank you for this, and I identify with it so much
Thank you so much, Marc. Happy you can relate 🙌🏻
You’re more than welcome! Beautifully written
The way you talk about inner & outer loneliness is quiet relatable brother. And the title of this blog Alone by design depicts a lot of my story because since I have started running(June of 2020)- I have running every single step alone meaning not with anyone outside the competitions I enter. Last Year, I ran SOLO 5800 KM. At times solo miles routine feels heavy and the drudgery hits like a freight train. Running alone brings its own set of plus points and the way one feels but now it feels that I have reached a threshold and the urge to keep showing up dissipates and keeps oscillating back & forth.
But you're a bang on right that running as a sport is with only one real participant and that is YOU. When I wear the running shoes and start running, the loud voices in my head automatically shut down but it comes back roaring when the fatigue kicks in.
woah, 5800km Solo! that is crazy awesome man. Keep it up!
Thanks a lot brother. But I have been chronically under performing in the races I compete.
My recent race was a 100 KM Stadium Run(250 laps) on 24th January. Every bit of thing from the start was cognitively focused on running this race under 7:30 meaning I had to average 4:29 per KM. Everything was on par till 60 KM and the way my quads felt and after that the effort and attitude went into a downward spiral that here I am fucking it up again. I let the guard down a bit and I have understood I need to practice the art of letting GO of my expectations. All of this is easier than done but this needs to be done as it is impacting in every facet of my life. I finished the race in 9:15. In the moment it seemed it sucks but with time I have understood the pain of not performing and mental turmoil lessens if not dissipates totally whatever the race it might be.
I am again planning to run a 100 KM Stadium Run(250 laps) on 7th March but will try to let go off expectations from the start. I would surely have the plan but will try not let it dictate me when I would be going through lowest of lows. Because when our goals seem to slip away, the guard we hold with utmost courage and boldness becomes timid and our attitude towards the race becomes fragile and we let the guard down. The only goal would be to fight till the end like my life depends on it and try to give 101% in every moment. Keep the fight on like I started the race at the back half of the race, that's how you learn how to keep pushing when every muscle in your body is shouting stop right now. I need to learn this. I still plan to run it under 7:40 and I believe in myself that heck yeah I can do this.
The process is the kingpin and process is 90% of the story, WHY not enjoy it?